


Of Furikake and Cohabitations

by Aeneid



Series: Kagura's Birthday Festival [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Cohabitation, F/M, Roommates, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 10:31:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1645475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeneid/pseuds/Aeneid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How does one try to keep their sanity intact when they're roommates with a sadistic jerk?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Furikake and Cohabitations

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Of Mornings and A Futon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1177749) by [Aeneid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeneid/pseuds/Aeneid). 



> It's been six months since Kagura's birthday last year, and this was supposed to be the second fic for the three shots I've planned, but one thing led to another, and the fic itself got an expansion because I decided it would be more fun to add two more pairings to the mix.
> 
> A whole lot of Japanese customs and practices here that may seem weird, but please try to read until the very end of the fic for my notes + research about this whole thing.
> 
> The prequel to this fic is Of Mornings and a Futon. It would be great if you could read it first before this one.
> 
> Anyway, without further ado, enjoy!

* * *

dis・cord:

_noun_

**1.**  disagreement between people.

* * *

 

At an ungodly hour of six in the morning, Kagura was sleepily making her way to the kitchen to cook breakfast.

Yorozuya Gin-chan had a kitchen, but Kagura  _usually_  wasn’t in-charge of the cooking… until recently.

As to why she was up at this hour, she  _did_  have to cook, but did not want to remind herself  _why_  she had to cook, lest she get herself worked up over it. Evidently, she was  _not_  one of those early risers (she herself woke up in time for lunch, which was either at half past twelve or whenever Shinpachi came over and woke both of them up, whichever came first), but she had moved out of her ‘dad’s’ place five months ago, and despite the fact that the new place she had move into had better facilities, there really was no place like her old home. She may have her own room, her own bath, and the privacy that a growing girl needed, but the Yorozuya made her feel more comfortable there, and the warmth of the place made her feel it was really home.

The new place she was in, on the other hand…

She  _really_  did not want to go there, as she usually ended up being in a bad mood if she thought of it too much but—

“Oi China, where’s my breakfast?” came a rather booming voice.

_Speak of the devil._

“Shut up, I just woke up.” She growled angrily at the yukata-clad person she was talking to. Why the hell was he, the early riser, always insisting that she cook breakfast for him when it was difficult for her to wake up before noon?

 _You’re talking to a rather sadistic asshole right now, and don’t you forget it,_ came the voice inside her head. Inwardly, she groaned and tried to keep herself awake by thinking of happy thoughts.

Like her maiming his head with a meat tenderizer.

“Now, now, is that any way to talk to your employer?” he smirked at her. “That’s the worst thing to do to try and win my favor.”

 _Like I need to win your favor!_  “… Just sit down.” She said instead, knowing that if she picked a fight with him, she was allowing him to ruin her day. “It’ll be ready in a while.”

“You forgot the word ‘master’ after each sentence. And do use polite speech while talking to me.” He tsked. “You’re forgetting your manners too.”

She could only roll her eyes in response, as she did not want to rise to his provocations. Day in and day out, he would say something snarky at her, and she would either rise to the challenge or stand down. More often than not, she wouldn’t even bother with him anymore; frankly, she was getting tired of the same old shit he pulled to piss her off, which was him demanding that she use formal speech whenever she was addressing him.

It was really demeaning of him to think of her as a maid, that damn bastard—

The rice cooker sounded to signal that it was done, and she knew breakfast was ready to be served.  
  
 _Well, here we go. Another fucked up morning._

* * *

While her employer had the best of everything for his breakfast (he was having a traditional Japanese breakfast), she was left with eating  _furikake_ [1] topped on rice (her old lifestyle before she met Gin-chan), as she did not want anything to do with his ‘kind gesture of feeding her’. Hell, she usually went hungry after a while, but she would rather starve than eat the food that he paid for. Kagura didn’t want to be indebted further, knowing that he would use that against her whenever she would try to fight back. His favorite threat was that she was hundreds of thousands of yen in debt, and as long as she hasn’t paid it off through manual labor, which was subject to his satisfaction, she was stuck working for him.

There was no way she could pay for such a huge amount right now. Even if she hardly spent the allowance that Gin-chan gave her (a measly ten thousand per week), it would probably take her two years, or more.  
  
Even if she tried to move out, or even go back to space, she was still in debt. As much as she didn’t like having to do those, it felt like her whole life was going to be tied to this shitty little bastard… and that was the last thing she wanted. She always asked herself why she had let this happened, and why she was allowing him to push her around, but Kagura knew the answer: she was too proud to ask Gin-chan to take her back while she was too honest to run away from her debts. Sometimes, it irritated her that she was too righteous, and that she was letting him boss her around.

One day, she was sure that she was going to snap and snap his head off, she will.

“I’m done. Is my bath ready?” he asked arrogantly.

 _Who the hell do you think you are?! I am_ not _your servant!_

“Do it yourself.” She snapped back, gathering the dirty dishes from the table. “Your stuff is better than what Gin-chan has, so why bother asking if your bath is ready? You have that… uhh, thing in your bathroom.”

“Shower.” He informed her.

“Whatever. You have that, which can make the water hot or cold, so why ask me if the bath is ready?” she shot back. “I don’t have time to deal with you; I need to make everything squeaky clean and very tidy so I can get the hell out of here.”

“Seems like you’re not happy here.” He commented in his usual deadpan tone. “Or maybe you’re just being  _tsundere_ , China?”

“Haha.” She rolled her eyes once more. “As much as I’d like to leave, I don’t like having debts. When I get the amount you need, I’ll pay you, then get out.”

“Good luck. It might take you a lifetime to do that.” He chuckled before exiting the dining room, failing to notice the dark look on his housemate’s face.

_Just you wait, you bastard._

* * *

He couldn’t ask for a better living arrangement.

He may be a responsible bachelor, and he knew how to be independent while he was still living in the Shinsengumi compound, but like all men, Okita Sougo grew tired of that lifestyle and was in need of someone, particularly a servant, to assist him in every way possible.

Enter pitiful China who was in need of a home five months ago.

He didn’t fully know the circumstances (all he heard was that she and the Yorozuya boss had a falling out of sorts, but didn’t bother verifying it), but what he knew was that she was in need of a place to stay, and was running out of time. As he was (and still is) a very kind and understanding individual, he offered her a place to stay…

…  _if_  she begged for it, that is.

China being China, she had refused, even going as far as to sleep in the park like that old man, but the Yorozuya boss had called him up early that day, telling, urging him to take her in for the meantime.

“Boss, can she even pay the rent?” the rent was, to be frank, not an issue since his salary was more than enough to cover everything (he lived in a rather modest place in Edo, and a two bedroom apartment to boot), but since China would be staying with him, it was just fair for him to start charging her as well.

“… I’ll take care of it for the meantime. Just make her stay.” The silver-haired samurai sighed, clearly sounding exhausted with the whole situation.

Despite the perm-haired samurai’s promise to take care of the bills (which he did not, as expected of him), Okita decided to take advantage of the fact that one of the strongest Amanto race was living in his place, which meant free labor. Aside from that, he could ask her to do whatever the hell he wanted, since she owed him, and her debt was going up at an alarming rate. Every little thing she did, from cooking her own meals to using anything in his household, was charged to her. Eventually, she noticed this, and started scrimping on the food, which left her eating the leftover rice that she cooked for breakfast, and seasoning it with her own stock of  _furikake_. The Yorozuya boss still probably gave her an allowance, but her eating  _furikake_  on top of rice was… pathetic. He  _slightly_  felt sorry for her, but it wasn’t enough to make him give her free food.

She still had to pay him in some way or the other, and it would be, he decided, in the form of manual labor, though it was subjected to his own rules, such as that he would determine if the household work she did had passed his standards. So far, she still didn’t know how to dust properly, or even sweep the floors, which annoyed him. He kept forgetting that China wasn’t the average girl who knew how to do household chores like an Edo woman, most of them groomed from birth to know how to do basic housework, and that it was the eyeglasses-wearing-human in the Yorozuya who did the household chores for her and the boss.

There was one thing she was good at, however, and that was cooking. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, China could whip up the best meal there is. Too bad she only did it once a day, and it was a begrudging thing on her part, as he always noticed her scowl whenever she cooked him breakfast.

Sighing to himself, he entered his personal bathroom and headed straight for the shower. As much as he did not want to go to work today and just simply laze around…

… Well, he could always call in sick and bug China as much as he wanted. He was sure that him taking a day off wouldn’t leave Edo vulnerable, and that the police force would take matters into their own hands if the terrorists suddenly appeared.

He reached over for his mobile phone and began composing a message to be sent to the commander.

* * *

Kagura raised an eyebrow when she saw him dressed in his casual clothing, an  _uwagi_  and a pair of  _hakama_ , as soon as he had exited his room. “… You’re not going to work?”

“What’s it to you?” he shot back.

She cursed her luck, wondering why the hell he had to stay at home, out of all the days she was planning to go out and shop. This guy was seriously ruining  _everything_. “… I was planning to go out—”

“Go where?” he asked.

“To the market. You’re running out of food.”  _And I need to restock my_ furikake, she added mentally, knowing that if she didn’t take the chance to buy, she’d go hungry. She refused to eat the food he was eating, as it would drown her deeper in debt. “Anyway, later—”

“I’m going with you.” He said, earning a puzzled look from his housemate. “What’s with that look, China?”

“Nothing.” She said, looking away, wondering why he would offer to help her out.

“ ‘sides, I need to keep an eye on you. You’re probably not giving back the excess money I give you for the household budget.”

_What a jerk._

At this, she rolled her eyes, refusing to tell him that he was one delusional bastard who was having too much fun being an ass. Kagura walked over to the entrance of the flat and put on her shoes wordlessly before slamming the door on her way out. Immediately after, he ran after her, and jogged to her side, managing to catch up in an instant. Kagura cursed the fact that he was one of the few who could keep up with her. “Hey, you stupid maid, who the hell told you to leave?” he asked.

“Get over yourself. I’m not your maid.” She shot back.

“You’re a maid until you’ve fully paid your debt.” He reminded her. “Until that day comes, you’re at my beck and call. And don’t even think about running away from your responsibility.”

“I never back down from promises.” She glared at him. “What do you take  _me_  for?”

She treated promises like fragile glasses. Ever since her Papi has kept on breaking his promises to her, she was wary of the promises that people gave so freely. In her case, she made it a point never to break promises, and that included her really wanting to pay the debt back just so she could get the hell out of his place… even if she really,  _really_ wanted to leave. The sadist was driving her crazy, and he was, in no way, good for her emotional and mental health, despite the fact that she had a place to stay.

Over him and homelessness, she would rather be homeless, in all honesty.

“Enough talking; let’s go.”

* * *

The trip to the market had been… quite unusual.

Kagura knew her way around, knew where the stalls that had the lowest prices for the goods, knew where to buy what, and all she wanted to do was to buy the items that she needed, then go back to the flat. Unfortunately, shopping with the arrogant sadistic Shinsengumi captain proved to be more than she can handle. He stopped nearly at every stall to check out the items for sale, making her wait for half an hour before leaving without buying anything. Angrily, she stormed off while he was distracted with the stalls that sold the produce and the meat that she needed. After handing out the money and counting the change that was given back to her, the female Yato made her way back to where she last left him…

… and found him glaring at her.

“Where the hell were you?!” he asked angrily.

“You were taking too long; I had to buy the things I needed!” she said, holding up the bag. “Good thing I still managed it ‘cause they nearly ran out!”

“Idiot, did you forget that you’re a maid?” Okita glowered at her, his eyes a thin slit. “You don’t go running off just because you want to; you’re supposed to trail behind me.”

 _What the fuck is your problem?!_ Tightening her grip on the bags, she tried to make her expression neutral, but failed to do so, as she wanted to punch him in the face. She settled for his foot instead by stepping on it as hard as she could, making the ground crack in the process while Okita howled in pain. “I’m so sorry for disobeying you, Master.”

“The hell’s wrong with you!?” he asked, holding his foot while hopping up and down. “You really should know your place, China. I should seriously consider you—” his threat was ignored as Kagura dropped the bags and ran past him. He turned around to see the Yorozuya boss picking his nose, while China’s arms were wrapped around the older man’s torso.

“Gin-chan!!!”

“Kagura.” He said, the finger he used to pick his nose making its way to the top of her head where he proceeded to wipe the snot on her hair. “Out shopping again? Don’t waste too much of your allowance on  _sukonbu_.”

“Hmph! I wanna eat it every day, Gin-chan. What’s it to you?!”

“Yeah, okay, whatever.” He said, dead fish eyes staring at her before noticing that a familiar figure was not too far behind her. “Yo, Souichirou-kun.”

“It’s Sougo.” He said, grabbing the bag and walking over to them. “Boss, you have yet to pay for the expenses five months ago.” The younger male reminded him.

“Kagura can take care of it.” The wavy-haired samurai said, pointing at his ‘daughter’. “You’ll do that for Gin-chan, right?” immediately, he earned a punch on the right side of his arm, making him howl in pain.

“Gin-chan, you suck.” And with that, she walked off to the direction of his house, fuming mad. Sougo was about to go after her when Gintoki stopped him, tapping his shoulder.

“What now, boss?”

“How… is she doing?”

“Wants to kill me. And owes me nearly seven hundred thousand for everything.” He answered in a deadpan voice.

“… Well, she can always go back to my place anyway—”

“Why  _did_  she leave?” he wanted to know.

“Better ask her.” He shrugged. “Can’t say.”

“She probably won’t tell me anyway.” He said, looking at the direction she went off to.

“Tough luck.” Gintoki said unsympathetically.

* * *

Three hours and one mid-morning snack later, his mind still could not figure out why China had moved out of the Yorozuya. It didn’t look like she and the boss had a falling out, nor was it because of budget constraints. Sakata Gintoki looked like he was still stable, as he was able to give China her monthly allowance without fail, and she still worked for him at times, whenever a job came up.

No matter how much he racked his brain for the answer, it wouldn’t come up with anything.

He didn’t want to ask China as he knew she would never answer him. The first time he asked her why she was suddenly homeless, it was during the time he found her ready to sleep by the park bench. She completely ignored his question and changed the topic by saying, “I thought you were rounding up the homeless. Where the hell is my new room?” He had no choice but to lead her to his place, all the while wondering what he was going to do with her.

Now that she was his housemate and played the servant role to him, life was becoming more interesting.

Just when he was done with his snack, he called out to her. Several seconds later, he heard her step out of her room and walk into the dining area. “What?”

“Clean this up.” He saw her roll her eyes but said nothing as she took the plate and the tea cup in front of him to place it by the sink. As soon as she started washing the dishes, Okita asked, “What’s for dinner?”

“No idea. We only agreed for breakfast, right?” She said snappily.

“And what if I demand that you cook dinner for me?” he asked. “You’re not gonna do that?”

“As long as you take away a portion of my debt for the dinner I’ll be cooking for you tonight, I’ll do it.”

“Fine.” He didn’t like the fact that he was going to deduct some portion of her debt, but he’d rather pay than starve. At least she charged way lower than the fancy restaurants he went to. “I’ll deduct two thousand.”

“Yeah, sure.” She said absentmindedly before rinsing the plate. “Anything you’d like?”

This was a first, China asking him what he wanted. “Katsudon.” was the first thing he blurted out. “You  _can_  do that, can you?”

“Easier than being asked to make parfait from scratch.” She shrugged. “What time will you eat?”

“Seven.”

“Got it.” She shrugged before wiping the plate dry with the dish cloth. Just when she was about to go back to her room, he grabbed her wrist. “What now?”

“Why did you leave the boss’s place anyway?” as soon as he said those words, he saw hesitancy in her eyes before it turned into fury.

“That’s none of your business.” She said immediately, her eyes focusing on the sink as she washed the porcelain for the second time. He saw how she had tensed at the topic, and tried to probe further.

“Did I touch a nerve, China girl?” he asked, voice laced with maliciousness. “Don’t tell me things ended badly between you and the boss—”

“I already said it’s none of your business.” She placed the wet dishes by the rack and wiped her hands with a paper towel before tossing it into the bin. “That’s rude, you know.”

“Who cares? I wanna know why you moved out of his place—” before she could even try to run, he placed both his hands on the sink, effectively trapping her between his arms. “—Come on, humor me, China.”

“No.” she grabbed his right arm with both of her hands and looked at him straight into his eyes, her azure-colored orbs giving off a rather dangerous glare. “Unless you want your right arm, let go of me, you stupid sadist.”

Sougo was rather fond of his sword arm and did not want a repeat of the last time an important limb got broken. Cursing himself for not being prepared with his interrogation, he removed both hands against the edge of the kitchen tabletop and immediately, Kagura elbowed him aside, thoroughly pissed at what he did. “The hell’s your problem, China?”

“None of your business. You shouldn’t even ask me things like that. Ever heard of the term ‘privacy’?” she shot back.

“What, you scared?”

“Not the point.” She glared at him. “Who’re you to ask me stuff like that, huh? Stuff ‘bout Gin-chan and me ain’t your concern!”

“Geez, calm the fuck down, China, I’m just being a nice roommate—”

She stopped in her tracks at once, backtracked to where he stood, and poked his ribs rather hard, causing him to yelp. “Listen, sadist, let me make it clear just this once: Just because we live in the same house doesn’t mean I’ll force myself to get along with  _you_.” She stated in an eerily calm tone. “I hate your guts, you hate mine. I’m staying here until I’m able to pay you in full. Until that happens, mind your own business and get the fuck out of my way.”

With that, she headed towards her room, leaving a bewildered Okita to stare at her as she slammed the door as she got inside and locked the door loudly. Shaking his head in disappointment, all he could do was stare at the wooden door that separated them.

“… Who the hell said I hate you…”

* * *

_What got her panties in a bunch anyway?_

Up until dinner time, Sougo was still trying to figure out as to why China had ran away from the place she had been staying at ever since she had gotten involved with the Yorozuya, yet was still able to maintain her closeness with the perm-haired samurai, despite being the one who had moved out. He still wondered why she was so hostile towards his question regarding her abrupt moving out, and even threatened to injure him if he would still pester her about it. China was still as stubborn as ever, and no amount of prodding would make her spill… unless he would make a threat to her that would leave all of his limbs intact and his dignity still in one piece. Grudgingly, Okita Sougo admitted that at this rate, China had the upper hand, as she had more strength than him, and was more likely to kill him if he became a jerk by poisoning his food. He was well aware of how women used their cunning to kill off the people they could not stand, and with the way things were with China, she would definitely kill him.

A knock on his door, and a muffled voice said, “Dinner, sadist.”

He got up from his futon and walked towards the dining area which doubled as their shared living space as they both agreed on the following terms: no entering of the other person’s room unless it was a life or death situation, bathroom sharing was another a big no-no (Sougo had his own private bath while hers was located outside her room) unless it was a life or death situation, she would cook breakfast for him every morning without fail, and every month she had failed to pay her share of the rent that amounted to eighty thousand, it would be included in her debt, and she was bound to stay in his place and work off her debt until she paid it in full.

Last, and the most important rule out of all of the three rules stated…

They were sworn not to tell  _anyone_  that they were living together. Not only would it be scandalous to many people (especially those who were still stuck in the old ways), but there was a chance that they  _might_  get forced to marry.

 _“I’m never getting married.”_  He clearly remembered her saying such when they agreed on the fourth term.  _“Better keep your end of the bargain, sadist, ‘cause I’m sure as hell would rather die than get married to you!”_

_“Don’t be so dramatic.” He told her. “It’s not as if I want to get married to you either.”_

_He didn’t bother telling her that the whole police force had found out by accident that they were living together when Yamazaki has spilled the beans during the time he was to visit the captain of the first division’s flat. As soon as he saw China exit his place with a shopping bag in her hand, and returning there after several hours, he had accidentally told_ everyone _in the police force about it… which lead to a lot of misunderstandings, a stag party in Kabuki-cho, and a sudden increase of leaves for, according to Kondo-san, his ‘honeymoon’._

_As much as he was indifferent to the additional leaves, the stag party, he did not take the misunderstanding kindly._

_Okita made Yamazaki swear that if the secret was out, he would immediately know who was responsible for it… and would not hesitate to execute the most gruesome punishment he could ever think of._

_… And he was sure as hell that he wouldn’t let China know of it, as she might throw a hissy fit and blame him for all of her problems._

“Here.” She placed a bowl of pork cutlets swimming in egg and onions and handed him a pair of chopsticks. For their convenience, they have color-coded their chopsticks, with her having a pink-colored pair while he went with anything dark-colored. “Now remove two thousand from my debt.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He said before digging in.

He had to admit, she really could cook. Despite the fact he had been eating in restaurants where they claimed to serve one of the best  _katsudon_  in Edo, hers was better than all of their meals combined… and he hardly praised people for their efforts. When he was done eating in a matter of minutes, he found her looking at him intently. “And?” she asked.

“It’s decent. I’ll slash off that amount to your debt. You’re left with six-hundred ninety-eight thousand yen.” After saying his thanks, he stood up. “Good luck with that.”

As soon as he got inside his room, she glared straight at the door. His last statement had been dripping with sarcasm, and if she had known any better, he was smirking at her. Sure, her efforts to repay her debt had been unsuccessful, but this time around, she was going to make sure to pay him immediately so she could get the hell out of this hell hole and live by herself…  _if_  she could afford Edo’s expensive apartments. Seeing his face every morning always made her ill-tempered and rude… and his presence had always bothered her. The sadist had always been her rival for the past five years, and nothing has changed between them. If anything, living together made everything worse.

What better way to get the hell out of here than be a cabaret girl like her dear  _anego_?

As soon as he was asleep, she would sneak out and get the job.

Even if it was part-time work, as long as she could immediately pay him the amount he was asking for, she would do it.

She had enough of him.

* * *

Hours later, at dawn, Kagura, clad in a deep red sundress, quietly made her way back to the apartment, making sure that he wouldn’t hear her sneaking about. Earlier, she was made to observe with  _anego_  at Snack Smile, and she had to admit, it was fun in its own way. The men poured out all of their woes while the cabaret girls listened to them intently, smiling and being patient, offering advice once in a while, and finally… part them away with their hard-earned money by coaxing them to buying the most expensive drink in the house, the Don Perignon. Just for tonight,  _anego_  had received a huge bonus just for bringing in a lot of customers.

Kagura knew she wouldn’t reach that level (yet), but she would… soon.

But first, she needed a shower.

The dress reeked of cigarette smoke, and she smelled of it as well, especially her hair, so she decided to take a bath before cooking the breakfast of her roommate. As much as she did not want to cook for him anymore, she had to uphold her end of the bargain. Sighing to herself, she headed to the bathroom just beside her room and began stripping herself. The toilet was modest, for when one entered the bathroom, the Western style toilet was on the left, while the shower area and the tub was separated from the toilet with a small changing room, with sliding doors providing the privacy needed. As she and Okita had agreed that each had their own private baths, she did not bother closing the sliding door anymore as she sat on the stool and began running the water down her hair and all over her body.

The Yato was busy rinsing her hair when the door opened and in came Okita, who suddenly lifted his yukata. His position had looked like he was going to relieve himself, and for the love of　delicious  _sukonbu,_  she  _did not_  want to see this. She then did the most logical thing to do: scream.

This snapped him awake, and immediately, he looked to the side, saw her, and to her mortification, she had forgotten to cover herself. It took several seconds for her brain to register the fact that she had to shut the door close… and she did. A tug… and it had destroyed the sliding door in an instant, for her monstrous strength had unhinged the door completely.

_Fuck…!_

Immediately, she turned her back on him, her face red from mortification. She had just destroyed the sliding door that would’ve been her saving grace from this idiot who broke their agreement. How the hell was she going to bathe now?!

“… China, what are you doing bathing at six in the morning?” he asked. “And did you just destroy the bathroom divider?”

“I should ask you the same. What are  _you_  doing in my designated bathroom?” she spat angrily.

“My toilet broke down, and I can’t flush it. I’m calling the plumber later to have it repaired.” He explained. “As for you, you’re paying for the damage you caused on the divider.”

“Hell no!” she exclaimed, facing him, but not before squealing at the knowledge that she was  _naked_ , and had probably flashed at him. “You startled  _me,_  and we did agree that one can only enter the other’s bathroom in cases of emergency! Don’t blame it all on me when you decided to barge in while  _I’m bathing_!”

“Then why the hell are you using the bathroom at this hour?”

 _When will your stupidity end!?_  Out loud, as best as she could, she said, “Because I get up at this hour, take a shower, prepare your food at fifteen minutes before seven in the morning, and then do my round of chores until I get exhausted! Why don’t  _you_  notice these little things around you before saying something so stupid?!”

Sougo was taken aback at the way she expressed her pent-up anger towards him. He had to admit, he missed this side of her, for when she started living in with him, all his interactions with her were met with either stony silence or a forced sarcastic remark. He was well aware that China wanted out of his place, but for some reason, a part of him didn’t want her to leave.

What was the fun in living alone when he was used to her presence anyway? It was fun to insult her at times, and he knew that despite her silence, she would listen to him rant about his day… and somehow, it gave him a feeling of domesticity that usually made him wince. Like her, he thought of this as a setup where he gets free labor from the strongest woman in Edo, and she, in turn, gets shelter and food from him.

Now that he thought about it, their setup was akin to… a married couple’s setup.

 _… Why am I think of this possibility early this morning, and with China in the shower,_ naked—  _oh wait, no, damn it, no tents!_

“… Fine. Then I’ll pay for it. Finish that bath so I can use the toilet.”

“Fine.” She shot back. “Now get out.”

Today was… awkward between them… and it had only just begun.

Breakfast had been… difficult, to say the least. Neither of them was looking at one another, and Kagura was torn between leaving the items on the pan and asking him to do self-service or her serving it in front of him, like usual. Before she could ask him what he wanted, he suddenly stood up. “Pack it up in a lunch box, will you? I just remembered I’m in a hurry.”

“Right.” Immediately, she scoured for the kitchen to find any kind of lunch box, and just when she manage to fit in his breakfast that consisted of fish and rice (she decided not to include the miso soup, as it would get cold), he was nowhere to be found. She figured that sadist had really been in a hurry to leave that he ran off immediately, forgetting that he had asked her to pack up his breakfast.

Vaguely, she wondered if he had been in a hurry to get out because of what happened earlier, but dismissed the thought.

 _He forgot about it already_.

It was a good thing that she was dressed to go out, or she would have waste time in getting dressed, or worse, falling asleep while getting dressed. She had been up for hours, and as much as she wanted to sleep already, she couldn’t. The sadist was the type to make a big fuss over something so small, and the last thing she wanted was him ruining her day. And so, she ran off to the Shinsengumi compound clad in a mandarin-style top with matching red shorts, carrying a  _furoshiki_  cloth that contained his breakfast.

Ten minutes after her running, she was there, though sadist was still nowhere to be found. Immediately, she asked a rank-and-file member where he was, and got a response that the Captain was in the meeting room. Despite the fact she had no idea where that place was, Kagura peeked at each room that she walked passed… and as soon as she saw her roommate, she opened the sliding door.

“Sadist.” She called out to him, ignoring the fact that he and Yamazaki were having a meeting with their commander and vice-commander. Kagura saw his poker-faced look turn into annoyance. “Don’t give me that look, you idiot. You forgot your breakfast.”

“… Ah.” She nearly smirked when she saw a hint of embarrassment etched on his face, and Kagura shook her head in disappointment. Sighing to herself, she walked up to him and dropped the lunch box on his lap. Waving goodbye to the gorilla commander and even Mayora, she walked out of the room…

… and as soon as the men in the room felt that she was already out of earshot, catcalls and cheers began.

“Okita-san, you’re so lucky!” Yamazaki bellowed, earning an elbow in his gut for that remark.

“Heh. Never knew the Yorozuya girl had it in her to play the role of a wife.” Remarked Hijikata, smirking at Sougo, who glared at him in turn. The older man’s smirk widened as he noticed the younger man’s face slowly turning red.

“China-san sure has the makings of a proper wife!” yelled Kondo Isao, whose eyes began to water. “I just wish Otae-san could be like her!”

At this, Okita Sougo rolled his eyes, all the while opening the lunch box and eating the packed breakfast with much gusto. He had told them time and again that there was no way in hell that China was his wife, despite the fact that they lived together [2]. They slept in separate beds, in separate rooms, and she did his best to avoid him as much as possible, and he did the same, though there were times when he found it fun to suddenly pick on her during the times where she was in her foulest mood. The look on China’s face whenever he pushed all her buttons made him feel better, and he knew that whatever he did to piss her off, she would not dare fight back, as he could easily throw her out of his home easily.

“She’s not my wife.” Okita grumbled, deciding to be truthful for once, and to make them believe that he was really, truly not  _married_.

Not now, not ever.

… Though there might be problems with the family name succession, as he had no other male relatives, he really did not want to get himself attached so soon [3].

“… You two aren’t married?” Kondo sounded aghast. “B-but that’s…!”

“But that’s what, Kondo-san?” he asked.

“But that’s unheard of! Why are you two living together if you’re not married?! Or at least engaged?!” at this, the commander began to freak out. “Sougo, you know the Yorozuya boss will have you killed if he finds out you’re cohabiting with China-san!”

“He knows. Hell, he was the one who told me to take her in.” at this, Kondo gasped and gaped at him in disbelief. “It’s true. Heard she was moving out, so the boss told me to take her in for the meantime. It’s nearly half a year, and looks like she won’t be moving out anytime soon.”

Hijikata sighed. “… Is it because you held her hostage?”

“Well, aren’t  _you_  a black-hearted ass. How could you insinuate such, Hijikata-san?” he deadpanned, glaring at the raven-haired vice-commander. “There’s no way I’m forcing her to do tedious manual labor for me.”

Hijikata decided not to take the bait. “One advice: don’t overdo it… or you’ll regret it.”

“Who the hell says I’m overdoing it?” he challenged.

“Just a reminder…” Hijikata said as soon as he saw the way Okita’s face darken. “Keep that in mind, and you’ll probably get along. Overdo it, and I’m sure your wife will walk out on you almost immediately.” The demon vice-commander wished he had a cigarette between his fingers right now; lecturing a kid about how to act around the person he must not piss off was very stressful.

Seriously, he did  _not_  want to be the person whom Okita Sougo would lash his mood swings at. A sadistic Sougo was easier to deal with than a brooding and sad Sougo.

“She’s not my wife.” He hissed.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say.”

* * *

“They all think you’re my wife.”

He mentioned it so casually to her that night, when both of them were at home, and she was washing the dishes. Right after he blurted out the words, he had been expecting her reaction to be that of disgust… and he got what he predicted. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that his roommate did not like him.

“… That’s a very cruel thing to say.” She said, shaking her head in disbelief, still continuing with the washing of the dishes. “I’d rather be homeless than marry you and stay here.”

Somehow, her words struck a nerve in him, and he couldn’t help but ask her another question. “Oh really? You’d rather live outside where it’s cold than stay here where it’s all warm and toasty?” early Edo autumn was cool enough, but sometimes, it could turn freezing in a matter of minutes, and it was easy for people to get sick these days.

“Obviously.” She said. “I want to get the hell out of here immediately, but someone like me who still has some pride left in her won’t leave until I’ve settled my debt, as I've promised.” A shrug, and she continued on. “I’d rather freeze and get sick than see your face every single day ‘cause it also reminds me that I am indebted to you.”

 _Not surprised._  Just so he was clear on how she felt towards him, he asked out loud, “You hate me that much, China?”

At this, she dropped the dishes she was soaping and walked up to him, staring down at him, who was lying on the sofa as he watched television. “I’m tolerating  _you_  for the meantime. When I get enough money to pay you off, I’ll get the hell out of here as soon as possible.” She told him. “The day I leave will be the happiest day of my life.”

“Good luck with that. You’re half a million in debt. You think you can pay me easily? You’d have to do something drastic to get that amount immediately.” He smirked at her.

“Of course. I can always sell my body.”

He blinked at what she had just said, trying to digest the information she had just blurted out loud. Was she… serious, or just playing along with him?

As if reading his mind, she shrugged. “If that’s the easy way out, I’ll do it. All I need to do is repay my debt so I can get out, and I’ll do it in the fastest way possible.”

Sougo knew it was her decision, her choice, her body…

… but for her to say it so crudely did not sit well with him.

“… Your choice. Do whatever you want; you can pay me back as soon as you get the money. Seeing you every single day irritates the hell out of me too.” He said, his voice lacking any emotion. If she wanted it that way, so be it. It wasn’t as if she was needed in his place. Before she even arrived, he was able to carry on with his life by doing everything by himself.

He was used to being alone anyway.

 “For once, I’m glad we’re in agreement.” she nodded curtly at him. “Three months.”

He gave her a blank look.

“In three months, I’ll move out.”

* * *

Barely two months after China had boldly declared that she was moving out of his place, the weather had turned chilly. October had been uneventful, as both of them did their best to avoid each other, the warm breakfasts he was used to having now reduced to the plates being covered with cling wrap. China, he deduced, would cook during the wee hours of the morning, then cover it with cling wrap before going to her room. Breakfast would be cold by the time he would eat it, and he would rather die than admit to anyone that he missed the hot meals cooked by her.

_Why the hell do I sound like some kind of disgruntled husband?_

It was idiotic, really, for him to start having that kind of mindset. Everyone else but them thought they were married, but why was he suddenly having these kinds of thoughts? He truly wanted to blame the whole police force for misunderstand everything, and even himself for not telling  _all_  of them about the truth, but honestly, would they listen? He knew they wouldn’t; they could always shoot back his words and tell him that he was in denial (when he really wasn’t in denial), and that ‘it’s okay to be happy, captain’ speech that Yamazaki prepared on behalf of all of them.

 _‘We knew this day would come, but not this soon. Despite the sudden plot twist in the path you have chosen to take, we are happy for you. It must have been a struggle for you living every single day alone, but we all know China-san will make you happy. We pledge to protect and serve the wife of our captain… even if we know she’s stronger than all of us combined.’_  Somehow, he remembered part of Yamazaki’s speech during that stag party they had organized for him, and the younger man mentioned loneliness.

… Did he really look that lonely?

He had no problem living alone all by himself, and while China was an added bonus in his household, her leaving would make no significant impact to him. For him, China was an added fixture in his life that could easily be removed at any given time. If she had to leave, it was no loss for him; he was still able to take care of himself, after all, and that also meant having no more freeloader leeching off from him.

Sighing, Sougo told himself to only bother thinking about it when the time came for her to move out, as it made him feel uncomfortable, for some reason.

Hopefully, the mediocre task he had been doing lately would distract him and make him think of other things… like how to successfully kill Hijikata without anyone knowing that it was really deliberate.

Unfortunately, fate decided to play tricks on him and torture him on the side.

That morning, while he was doing a boring part of the job (filing paper work, no less), a rank-and-file member from his division walked in, saluted, and sat down  _seiza_  style, with his legs folded underneath his thighs. “Sir, we have confirmed that your wife is safely inside the Yorozuya boss’ office for the past thirty minutes.”

 _What the hell—_ Calmly, Sougo asked, “Care to repeat that?”

The rank-and-file policeman saluted once more. “She has left your home a few minutes after you did and went straight to the Yorozuya boss’s office. She is with the boss and the younger brother of Kondo-san’s wife, sir!”

As to why they brought it upon themselves to tell him about China’s whereabouts, he had no idea, though it irritated him that they were so enthusiastic about doing this. Even if they had gotten the wrong idea about him and his roommate, no one in their right minds would go so far to do this; China was capable of taking care of herself, and hell, like he care where she went, as long as she still puts food on the table every morning, albeit cold.

Sighing inwardly and resisting the urge to groan, all he could do was say, “Okay. You may leave.” As soon as the junior officer had left, he shook his head, clearly at a loss on how to deal with this.

Sougo got his answer right away fifteen minutes after, when the same officer went in, saluted, and reported that it seems that the ‘madam’ was still in the Yorozuya office with the same old people (why the hell would the characters inside the office change when it was obvious it was only the boss and the glasses who would hang out with her?), and it looked like she might have lunch with them there.

Irritated, Okita asked, “Why are you reporting this to me?”

“Because we think that you might want to know your wife’s whereabouts while you’re busy at work, sir.”

 _Like I care._  Out loud, he said, “I see. In that case, can you do something about your reporting? Make it every hour. I don’t see the need for me to know where she’s at every quarter.” He was a surprise he could manage to say it in a civil tone, but then again, he was good at keeping and sounding calm, even in tense situations. “Or better, just… tell me if anything serious happens. I’m busy.”  _Filing boring paperwork,_ he finished in his mind.

“Alright, sir, we’ll keep that in mind!” out went the rank-and-file Shinsengumi member, and as soon as Okita felt that the younger man was out of earshot, he let his head slam against his low work table, clearly at a loss on how to deal with this whole thing.

He should’ve stopped them from having delusions that China and him were married, and he was stupid enough to think that the rumors would die down; in fact, it spiraled out of control, and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, it was getting on his nerves.

She needed to get out of his place, and out of his life  _immediately_.

\--------------------

As soon as she entered her old home, Gintoki had been the one to greet her, and the first thing he said had surprised her.

"I’ve been hearing things lately. Care to tell me if it’s true?"  
  
Immediately, she felt her eyes narrow at the direction of her foster dad. She had walked off to the Yorozuya to hang out with both him and Shinpachi, whom she had not seen for an entire week, and the first thing he tells her that there were… rumors. Probably about her, and hopefully, nothing about that guy. Frankly, the last thing she needed was  _him_  being mentioned on the day she wanted to be rid of  _him_ , if only for a few hours.

If they were going to be annoying, at least there would be one sensible person joining them soon, in the form of Tsukuyo, who had stepped out for a while to have a bit of exercise. Kagura hoped that the older woman would get here soon, as she had been wanting to talk to the blonde lady since a week ago, hopeful that the courtesan would be able to help her out.  
  
She really  _did not_  want dear old Earth dad to hear about her problems with her roommate.  
  
"What?" she asked, though she had an inkling that he wanted to talk to her about  _that guy_.  
  
"We’ve been hearing around town that Okita-san got married." Shinpachi began, pushing up his glasses against the bridge of his nose.

_Fuck this._

When Shinpachi suddenly smiled in that ‘guess-what!’ smile of his, she had this sudden urge to punch his face so much that she affixed her stare at the ground in order to calm herself. "… To our surprise, we didn’t get invited to the wedding. How could you not tell us that you two got married in secret?" [4]  
  
Kagura waved a hand, her eyes still fixed on the wooden floor. “It’s a lie, you idiot. Why would I marry the person I can’t stand?”  
  
"Security, obviously.” Shinpachi shrugged. “He earns a lot, he can feed you three times a day, even lets you stay for free in an expensive part of town—" [5]  
  
"I pay my own rent, damn it!" she yelled, though she knew that right now, she was financially incapable of paying him. Not until she becomes a full-fledged cabaret girl like  _anego_ , which would be in two days’ time.  
  
"—and he’s not denying it. At least, that’s what I heard." Gintoki sighed as he inserted a pinky inside his nose to scrape out his snot. "So, what’s going on between you two?"  
  
She glared at both of them. “ _Nothing_. What’s wrong with you two?!” she stood up and placed her hands on her hips. “I though I’d get a break from that jerk, but here you are, talking about him! I hate that guy, and don’t you  _ever_  expect me to stay with him forever!”  
  
"Harsh." Gintoki commented, thoroughly amused at the way Kagura was reacting.  
  
"Still… why stay with him? You can always run away." Shinpachi asked.  
  
"Don’t underestimate him, Shinpachi. That guy will easily find her." Gintoki told the younger man. "Come on, he figured out she was faking her illness before we all did!" [6]  
  
"… Oh yeah." the eyeglasses-wearing-human gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Kagura-chan. Guess you really can’t escape him."  
  
"Besides, there are probably two reasons why he hasn’t denied it yet." came a gentle voice. "Either he’s just ignoring the rumors…"  
  
Kagura stared at the Yoshiwara courtesan who just came in, and was now making her way to the living room in slow, easy steps before sitting on the sofa next to Gintoki, who placed an arm just behind her. Her sense of balance wasn’t the best right now, but they all knew it was because the Hyakka leader’s condition was very delicate, and had been told by the doctor that she needed to take it easy until after 9 more weeks.  
  
"… or he’s taking the role seriously." Tsukuyo finished, sighing and taking quick breaths. "I just passed by at least four police officers standing around the perimeter of the Yorozuya, and I don’t usually see those everyday."

At this, she gritted her teeth, wondering whatever the hell it was that the sadist was playing while Gintoki used his free hand and placed it over his forehead. “Married.” He remarked, shaking his head at the same time.

"If not married, engaged." Shinpachi concluded.

"NO!" she screamed vehemently.

"Then how can you explain their presence?! The first division members are here, and they’re probably at your beck and call!" Shinpachi said. "They wouldn’t waste their time hanging out here unless you’re really not Okita-san’s wife! Or should I say… ‘fiancée’?"

 _What the hell is going?!?!!?_ Hell, even  _she_ was getting confused over all of this.

What was he playing at?!

 _This is not funny, you sadistic jerk!_ She had half a mind to run to the Shinsengumi compound to demand an explanation, but knew that he would simply deny it. He always did, and it annoyed her that he always,  _always_  made it seem as if it was her fault in the first place.

Before she could stop herself, she screamed, “I want out!!!”

“… Out where?” Gintoki asked dumbly, getting elbowed by Tsukuyo in the ribs. “Oww! What?!”

“Gimme a job that can give me money at a faster rate!” she grabbed Gintoki by the collar of his shirt, her pupils nearly dilating from anger. “Come on, Gin-chan, help me out here! I don’t wanna stay with him any longer!” was it her imagination, or did she just sound a tad bit  _desperate_  over her current situation?

She really  _is,_ was _, and will be_  desperate unless she pays him.

Okita Sougo is a stressful roommate to live with, and she wanted out.  _Now_.

To hell with three months; it was now or lose her sanity.

“I may be able to help you, Kagura-chan.”

Immediately, she let go of Gintoki and was now staring in awe at her older brother figure. “And?!” she demanded.

“Well, right now, Otsuu-chan’s career hasn’t been… steady.” The eyeglasses-wearing-human hated to admit that his beloved idol’s popularity had been stale right now, as some of her fans have matured and moved on with real life. Some were waiting for her to ‘evolve’, a.k.a. move on to gravure, and then finally, become an AV actress. [7] Shinpachi was desperate for any kind of intervention, as he was not comfortable with his pure and virginal idol [8] turning to pornography as an alternative career, and if it meant bringing Kagura back to the stage for a reunion concert, he was very much willing to do just that.

“Her management is looking for an alternative so… how about a Snot Diamondz [9] reunion concert, for one night only?”

“How much will they pay me? No offense but…” she shrugged before continuing. “I need to earn at least half a million yen from that!”

“Nothing that they can’t offer.” Shinpachi said confidently, aware that the amount was something that Otsuu’s management could afford. It wasn’t they were already going under, but a lot of AV companies wanted to get Otsuu as their new star, and they wanted to show the companies that their idol would never dare go down that road. At least Kagura didn’t demand a million, or it would have been difficult to negotiate. “Though as usual, you’ll undergo an intense one month training session on weekdays. Concert is two weeks after the training, meaning, a week of rest, then it’s show time.”

“Guess that settles it.” She nodded, unable to believe her luck.

At least this sudden stroke of good luck would solve her money problems. It would take a lot of hard work on her part, especially since idol dancing and singing training required a lot of effort and grace, but she was willing to go through a lot of pain just to get out of that hell hole.

That settled it: she was going to do her best for a one-night concert to ensure her freedom.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:
> 
> [1] furikake - dry Japanese condiment sprinkled on top of rice.
> 
> [2] Cohabitation in Japan - It might seem nothing wrong from the Western perspective, but in Japan, cohabitation between a man and a woman who are not blood-related, no matter how platonic it may be, is frowned upon. Despite the fact that Japan may seem open when it comes to selling R-18 materials in convenience stores, they're still very much conservative. Boyfriends and girlfriends do not move in unless they're planning to get married in the near future, as cohabiting is seen as the final step before getting married.
> 
> [3] Name succession - Whenever people in Japan get married, they adopt the surname of the husband, or the wife, if the woman is the sole heiress of a prestigious family. In Okita's case, he's the male one in the family, so he needs to literally procreate to ensure that his son or daughter will carry the surname.
> 
> [4] Marriage in Japan - Marriage in Japan is fairly simple, as you just submit your marriage application (kon'in todoke) to a local government office (my local ward office handles something like this, by the way). Once approved, you are now legally married to your spouse. The traditional Shinto or Western wedding ceremonies you see in pictures are done right after submission and approval of the marriage application, because that's needed in order to carry out the ceremony.
> 
> Here's a sample of a kon'in todoke / marriage application from Pixiv. Highly accurate too. You need to fill in the names, the birthdays, the circumstances on how the two met, their occupation, and their seal/signature.
> 
> Because of this, it's really easy for people to get married in secret here as: 1.) no one can really know if you're married (asking someone if they're married is an invasion of privacy), 2.) you don't need to announce it to anyone (no need to wear wedding rings too if you don't want), and 3.) the only people who know about your marriage would be you, your spouse, and the government (paperwork filing). This is also the reason why secret marriage plot works in Japan.
> 
> [5] "He earns a lot, he can feed you three times a day, even lets you stay for free in an expensive part of town—" - in reference to Gintama chapter 465, page 8.
> 
> [6] "Come on, he figured out she was faking her illness before we all did!" - in reference to the Fake Illness Arc, starting from Chapter 458, page 11
> 
> [7] Some were waiting for her to ‘evolve’, a.k.a. move on to gravure, and then finally, become an AV actress. - this actually happens. After some members of AKB48 graduate, they either go to the gravure/AV route, or they continue on with their careers, but with more freedom. (AKB48's management is known to be super strict.)
> 
> [8] pure and virginal idol - Most mindsets of the Japanese idol otaku, sadly.
> 
> [9] Snot Diamondz - in reference to the HDZ48 Arc, as this is the name of the duo unit that consists of Terakado Otsuu and Kagura.
> 
> \--------------------
> 
> And, we're done [for now]. Comments are highly appreciated!


End file.
